Paris Hilton v. Nicole Richie: War of the Cleavage

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie showed up at the DCMA Collective flagstore opening to support their men Benji and Joel Madden respectively. The girls brought out the big guns probably to draw a crowd. They’re gonna need all help they can get. I scoped out the DCMA website, and, after sending an axe through my monitor, I’m thoroughly unimpressed. It just proves the theory that if you allow twin douche-bandits to design their own clothing line, you end up with Hot Topic - but more retarded which I never thought was possible until today. We’re through the looking glass, people.

NOTE: In the battle of the boobs, The Superficial declares Paris Hilton the winner. She defeats Nicole Richie who should’ve tried a different look besides “Lactating Gollum.”